I was asked this question awhile ago, “What kind of people get laid regularly?” 

Almost immediately, my first response was going to be ‘married people’ but that’s not really true is it, married people (yes, I’m also looking at you gay couples. lol)? After a few years, you often end up masturbating as much, if not more, than you did when you were single. Tell the truth.

But after some thought, I came up with three general scenarios that work. Mind you, I don’t think having sex all the time is good either but that’s a different discussion. So here they are:

1. Be devastatingly good looking with a slightly dickish (or cuntish) personality. People who are smoking hot and who are also assholes get laid a lot. Being good looking will get you hit on, but the last twist insures you a piece of ass.
2. Have a disarming personality. Fat, skinny, old, young, weird; if you can make someone feel good about themselves, make them laugh, be genuinely intriguing, you can use that skill to get lots of people into the sack. I’ve seen it work many many times, even on me. lol
3. Be rich. It’s true. If you have money, you can get laid anytime anywhere. And frankly, I think it’s perfectly fine. I spend money on sex, mostly because I can. Besides, there are many other ways to waste that kind of money so why not?

That’s my list but I’d liked to hear yours, if you have one?

Yes, here are 6 general rules to live by:

1) Stay away from the people who have hang-ups or issues with sex. They’re a complete waste of time. There are plenty of people out there who have absolutely no problem with fucking and then leaving.

2) Don’t make it a full-time job even if you get paid for it, not because having lots of sex with lots of different people isn’t lots of fun (because it is) but because you don’t want to get tired and bored with it. It can happen and will. Do other things. Making sex like ice cream. Have it often but not every day.

3) Don’t talk about it. The people you have sex with will appreciate your discretion. Aside from that, everyone is obsessed with sex yet a lot them are extremely judgmental. You shouldn’t care what other people think (and don’t) but you will save yourself a lot of unnecessary hassle and prejudice by keeping your activities private. Never kiss and tell.

4) Always be safe. STD’s are your enemy. Use drugs but use them wisely. There’s a reason they are called recreational. Never make them a habit or a full-time job. (see #2). 

5) Shave, trim, wax, douche. Personal hygiene is a must. Don’t be neglectful. Nobody likes a messy overgrown ‘ho’…. lol

6) Let go. Sex is an appetite. Feed it. Enjoy yourself. Learn how to give the perfect blow job. It is an art form. Have fun. Live and fuck your heart out. It’s one of the things when you’re old that you won’t ever regret. No one ever regrets their wild and lascivious adventures.

“In love there really is the lover and the beloved.”

I don’t believe in stereotypes. Not all lesbians play golf and wear fanny packs. Not all gay guys are frivolous flaming queens or shirtless meth-smoking circuit party-going clones. 

I believe that there are gays who masquerade as “bi-sexual” or “bi-curious” because frankly they’re too afraid of being labeled gay even though the real truth is that they like dick and only dick. We call them closeted Republicans… oh… oops. Was that a label? My bad.

The point is, we need descriptions and labels to communicate meaning with some clarity but these terms also have limitations; limitations that are often abused and used incorrectly because, let’s face it, there are a lot stupid people in the world. You may be one of them. There’s a 50/50 probability you are.

There are people who are sexually attracted to other people with the same physical genitalia as their own. We call that homosexual, gay, lesbian, fag, faggot, queer, cocksucker… the list goes on. In themselves, these words are not interesting. What is interesting are the ones you choose to use and why. That choice can tell you a lot about a person.

This rationality, or lack thereof, becomes even more apparent when people have to deal with individuals who don’t fall into our neat little boxes, such as intersexual individuals (not to be confused with transgender people) who are born with both genitalia. We’re so busy trying to defend our own gender identities that we completely ignore the 20 million transsexuals alive in the world today. Explain to me how that is not a complete idiotic proposition?

People. Fuck. Half the population are a of bunch of goddamn morons. Are you one? And how do you know you’re not?

I’ll treat this question seriously because it deservers to be. 

I love effeminate men…. but as a rule, I’m not sexually attracted to them, in the sense that when I see a really swishy guy I don’t immediately say to myself, “I would like to bone that boy.” But… BUT… unlike a lot of other people, particularly the so-called “straight acting” members of the gay community, I don’t ridicule them or believe in saying disparaging stuff to them or about them. In fact, I am stalwart defender of my nelly brethren, I speak out in their defense every chance I get. Like now. 

I think effeminate men deserve special recognition and should be acknowledged as the individuals who have had to bear the brunt of public distain and hatred for homosexuality, and who often suffered personally for it. But as the ones who decided to be and live openly gay in spite of such hatred and ridicule, we owe them an enormous amount of gratitude because they were the ones who first advanced the open acceptance of homosexual in society before anyone. God knows it certainly wasn’t the closet queens or the shirtless gym body circuit boys. Ask yourself where would gay rights be today if it were left in the hands of those “I’m not gay” cowards and a bunch of self-centered disco humping clones?

While it is true (and still to this day) effeminate gay stereotypes dominate the kind of gays you see on TV and film, at least we have SOME representation. I suppose that’s better than none. I’m still waiting on the gay character who resembles me… okay maybe not me… but the one who looks and acts no different that your average straight guy (whatever that is, exactly). 

The point is, I don’t resent nelly gays at all, nor do I wish that they would disappear. I simply wish that they weren’t predominately the only kind of gay man you see most often portrayed in the media. 

For a better idea of what I mean you should watch a well produced documentary calledThe Celluloid Closet. Here’s some clips on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C4izX6KIhX0

Shameless name-dropping: Steward Stern, who’s uncle is Adolph Zukor (the founder of Paramount Pictures) and who wrote the James Dean film, Rebel Without A Cause, happens to be in this film and is a close personal friend of mine. I put up a clip of him talking about Rebel Without A Cause from The Celluoid Closet on my own YouTube Channel: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yG5XPJ0OED4